These Moments

Today was one of those days at work where I am continually counting my blessings and reminding myself that my "hardships" and "troubles" are small potatoes. My worlds of being a new mom and speech therapist collide and sometimes (when I take the time to slow down) it gives me a new, fresh prospective.

Ellie has been growing, changing and evolving into this amazing, dynamic, funny little girl. However, with all of those changes come growth spurts, teething pains, restless nights, late night feedings, and changes in routine. In those moments, between the crying, the sleep deprivation and grumpiness I start to wish time away. I start to long for days when I won't have to get up in the middle of the night for feedings, or times when we can sit down and eat together. I yearn for times when leaving the house won't require a small truck to carry all the things that we need. While I was dreaming and yearning for times in the future, I found myself getting more upset, flustered and angry. Then something magical happened Ellie looked at me with all the love in the world behind those sparkly blue eyes.

That moment made me come to a crashing halt. As I was sitting there at 3:30 in the morning with a crying, tired, sleepy baby in my arms I thought to myself this moment ISNT going to last forever. She won't always need me as much as she needs me know. She won't depend on me for everything (food, sleep, comfort, warmth, etc.) Right now in this moment I am her world and I know there will come a time when I crave to hold her in my arms once more. So for right now, I am going to do my best to slow down and hold my baby girl while she will still let me and fit in my arms. Oh and I will forever try to remember the joy and love she can share with just one look.